God has finally given me a desire to be here!! Since we have been traveling, honestly, I really have not wanted to be here. I know we are serving the Lord and talking to people about Christ. Mom and Dad have been doing that a lot, but I have seen noone around my age to even talk to let alone talk to about God. I have no doubt God wants us here, but I would rather just be at home, be in my own bedroom with my big bed (twin bed but BIG compared to my bunk), be with my friends and extended family. I would rather be going to High School football games, sleeping late, and doing all the thing I get to do in the comforts of my home.
I have prayed more than once, "God, why am I here? What is your propose for this and can You please make us go home soon?" I saw how selfish that was and started praying, "God, show me why I am here and give me a desire to be here because I have none at all!!!" I have been praying this for the past few weeks and nothing. I looked in the Bible - still nothing. I still did not want to be here.
Yesterday, I was watching a design show. It was based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. For those of you who know me, you know I want to be an Interior Designer. For those of you who do not, you know now. I have wanted to pursue this career for the past year now. I love doing it. I’m good at it and find it very enjoyable. As I was watching this show, I was seeing all the amazing places in New Mexico, the beautiful sunset and awesome shops. I realized I’m going to get to see all of those amazing places and be up close to them not just see them on TV. If it is the Lord's will that I become an Interior Designer, I can use the pictures I have taken while traveling to give me inspiration for a room that I could be designing.
Also, I have a desire to blog more than I have been doing, if this will happen I have no clue because writing is not my strong subject. But, I might start trying a little harder. I also would like to find a cheap but nice video camera. This way, I could vlog (video blog) some of our trip. People who read our blog get a glimpse of what traveling life is like, but you do not get to see the behind the scenes stuff, the stuff we don’t write about or forget to write about. Now, I just have to find a video camera.
Of course, I also want to talk to people about Christ but, so far, I have not talked to any teenagers since we started and since it is winter I most likely won't have the chance to till spring or summer. Also, I do have fewer distractions on the bus than I had at home. So I can really focus on God, God’s Creations, Family, and My Relationship with God.
Do not think I am saying this trip is going be good everyday. I have my days, but am human. I’m not perfect. Some days I just want to stay on my bunk all day, talk to no one accept to say, "Go away, leave me alone and do not talk to me!" I have days when I’m in a bad mood; when everything and everyone aggravates me and I could just scream. But, I know God never gives me anything I can not handle. (1 Cor. 10:13, "No Temptation has ever sized you accept what is common to man and God is faithful he will not let you be temped beyond what you can bear.") I have went back to this verse so many times in the past year. It gives me hope that whatever I’m going through,whether big or small, God is always there and will not give me ANYTHING I can not handle without HIS help.
I think I have finally discovered why I’m here!!!!!!!
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