Jacob

This evening, I looked out our kitchen window to see Jacob hit Joshua in the face. Palm open and square on the face. It didn't take me but one second to get on the deck and yell down for both boys to come inside.
I asked the boys if they had been wrestling to which both replied yes.

We have a rule -- NO Wrestling.

And this is why - SOMEONE GETS HIT IN THE FACE!

Anyway, I asked the boys if they were treating each other the way they wanted to be treated.

"NO".

Well, why don't you both go put on your pajamas and get in bed. You will have some extra time to think about how you should treat people and how you should follow the rules.

About an hour later, Jacob comes upstairs. I was lying down on our bed and he stopped at our bedroom door and said, "Mom, I just wanted you to know that I started the fight."

Fight? I thought it was just wrestling that got out of hand. Hmmm...

I asked Jacob to come get on our bed. I wanted to use this time to reach Jacob's heart. It really wasn't about fighting or wrestling. It was about the fact that this was Jacob's first time in 2 1/2 years to come tell me that something that was his fault and he was being honest. I NEEDED to reach his little heart. He NEEDED for me to hear him and he NEEDED me to love on him when he was the most vulnerable. (even it he didn't know he NEEDED ME.)
I asked Jacob why he felt like telling me it was his fault. "What is your motive?" "No motive, Mom. I just wanted you to know that I started the fight. It was me."

"Jacob, would you like to tell me why you hit your brother."

"Mama, Joshua hit Andrew when he was not looking. Then he pushed Wesley down for no reason. Wesley and Andrew got mad at Joshua but Joshua just kept teasing them. Wesley walked off and threw a bike and went home. Then, Joshua went to hit Andrew again and I took him down. We started wrestling. He hit me. I hit him. We wrested some more and I got up. Joshua hit me again and I nailed him that is when you called us in. I know I shouldn't have hit him but he was hurting other people and I knew I could take him."

"Well, Jacob. I am glad you want to protect your brother and friend but how could you have protected them and NOT got yourself into trouble."

"I could have pushed him down and told him to stop and then I could have gotten you."

"Yes, that would have been better. Sounds like you knew what to do. Why did you not come get me?"

"I was mad at Joshua. My anger took over. I was wrong."

"Jacob, I really appreciate you telling me the truth.  I love you so much."

Parenting traumatic children is hard but it is days like this that make it easier.
It has taken Jacob 21/2 years to come and tell me the truth without being prompted. He showed remorse for his actions and even realized that anger caused him to hurt someone. I guess all those lessons on feelings really did pay off. LOL It took courage for Jacob to come to me and he trusted me. 

I think I might break out in song - He trusts me. He trusts ME. HE TRUSTS ME!!!

I am not worthy!! But, I am thankful!!