Small Clot in PICC Line Makes Me Stronger

When Katie's nurse was connecting her to the TPN feelings today, she realized that her PICC line had a small clot in it. The nurse and I were shocked because Katie was only unhooked from her fluids for less than 5 minutes. As I stood next to Katie watching Mrs. Brenda slowly trying to break apart the clot with Heprin, the realization of how sick Katie is once again made me weak in the knees not to mention that I do not handle IV's and blood very well. I quickly made my way to the door as another nurse was coming in to help Mrs. Brenda. I sat down in the atrium near Katie's room. I started praying and then realized that I just needed to listen. I sat there quiet, tears falling and thinking I feel so alone; I feel that I can't handle all of this. I am not sleeping well; I miss my husband and my children. Then I remembered a lesson that I learned years ago, "The life of a person who has a relationship with Christ is not led by feeling but by FAITH." My faith is in a God that holds the whole world in His hands. He loves Katie more than I do and ,no matter what happens, He is always with me. I am not alone! I do not have to handle all of this! I can cast all my cares on Him. He knows about all of my circumstances and He is allowing them to fulfill His purpose for my good. Do I trust Him? Yes, I trust Him. Suddenly, I felt like a weight had been lifted. As the tears slowed, I thanked God for bringing Katie into our lives, for having friendly caring nurses, and for the doctors who were managing her treatment. I thanked Him for loving me and forgiving me daily.
When I got back to the room, the line still had a clot. I was told that they would contact the doctor and order some stronger Heprin. I told the nurse that I was just going to sit near Katie and pray for it to unclot. Within minutes, the clot was dissolved! Mrs. Brenda and I said at the same time, "Thank you Jesus!" Mrs. Brenda sighed and I said this was just a lesson for me. God is just in the process of making me stronger. I needed this lesson. I do not know what Katie's future holds but I know Who holds her future!