I Don't Need an Alarm Clock-- I Have Children!

How many alarm clocks do you have?

I don't need an alarm clock--- I have children!

Every morning, I either get woke up to Hannah yelling for the dog to leave her alone, to Katie screaming "Mooooommmmmyyy" because she is wet or worse, or to the boys fussing because one of them is farting and stinking up the room ON PURPOSE (or so they say).

Well, this morning was no different! Today, the sound of Katie screaming for me and crying because she was wet and her ileostomy wafer was coming off was my alarm. Like anyone else, I just wanted to push the snooze button. However, the snooze button was out of my room, down the hall and to the left!! Therefore, I reluctantly got up to see what was wrong. After wiping my eyes, I saw Jacob trying to help his sister get to the bathroom.

NOW HERE IS WHERE IT GETS GRAPHIC. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BODILY FLUIDS JUST QUIT READING NOW. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.




Katie's ileostomy wafer was falling off and liquid poop was on the floor, all over Katie and everywhere in between. Then, I noticed black-eyed peas on the floor. Whole black-eyed peas on the bathroom floor, STRANGE unless you have a special needs child with an ileostomy. You see, we have been letting Katie eat a little bit of solid food. Last night, her nurse and I discussed giving Katie black-eyed peas and some rice. She told me Katie did excellent chewing her food. I am here to tell you Katie just acted like she was chewing after swallowing the peas WHOLE. Believe me there was NO teeth marks or mushed up peas on the bathroom floor. They had not been chewed.

Then, I noticed that a pea was lodged in Katie's ileostomy. (If you are not familiar with ileostomies, just look it up online. Oh never-mind, I will just give you a quick lesson.  Essentially, it is a very small part of her small intestines which is pulled through her abdomen to make a way for stool to exit the body into a bag. Basically, she has an anus (stoma) on her belly.) Now that the science lesson is over-- back to the pea that is stuck in Katie's stoma.

Once Katie was cleaned up and back on her bed, I put on gloves and prayed. Alright.... What to do....? Thinking..... OH YES!! I just decided to squeeze her belly just like I do when she has gas built up and her belly is bloated. I massaged her abdomen and started squeezing. YES!! Out popped the pea which landed on the bed about 18 inches from Katie's belly. I squeezed again and as you would imagine.... one pea, two peas, three peas galore! The peas continued to pop pop pop out of her belly. All of a sudden, Katie yelled, "Soup Beans!" and started laughing. I have to admit that I was laughing too. Joshua had come into the room to raise Katie's bed for me. (This has to be done manually by turning the crank on her hospital bed.) Just as he looked over the bed to see what was so funny, a pea popped out of Katie's stoma like the force of a cannon ball being released from Caption Hook's Ship headed to blow up Peter Pan. However, in this case it was headed toward Joshua's face. Drats, it landed about 6 inches too short.

At this point, tears were rolling down my face and Joshua said, "I will never eat black-eyes peas again!"

The joys of having children with special needs are abundant. It is never dull in our house. All of this happened before 8am and COFFEE. 

The nurse arrived and I gave her the report to which she agreed with Joshua and said that she would never eat peas again.  I left her to clean up the peas and replace the wafer because I had to get in the shower and leave within the hour.

It was a doctor day 2 hours away with Hannah for a diabetes checkup. Which by the way, was not uneventful but it's late and I am not going to write about that tonight. I better get in bed because I have no idea what alarm clock will wake me up in the morning and what I will have to do turn it off!

Do you have an alarm clock like mine? If so, what strange things do you have to do before the noise with stop? How many alarm clocks to you have?